How to Connect: Build Strong Bonds and Deep Connections Through Contact Nutrition (No Matter Your Attachment Style, Trauma History or Neurotype)

Author: Carmen Spagnola

Format: Softcover | Trim Size: 5.5" x 8.5" | Pages: 194 | Publication Date: November 4, 2026

Cover reveal coming June 2026

For people who don't want to go to therapy, and the people who love them

This is a handbook to help people break free of communication impasse, attune to the interpersonal neurobiology of their relationships, and deepen connection using a framework called Contact Nutrition.

It involves five practical pathways to promptly diffuse conflict, settle nervous systems, and move towards soothing and security. The five elements of Contact Nutrition are: Kind Eyes, Vocal Prosody, Safe Touch, Shared Rhythm, and Ingestion Behaviours. How to Connect guides readers to discover the right mix of Contact Nutrition to strengthen their bond with partners, parents, children, friends, colleagues, even strangers, no matter their attachment style, trauma history or neurotype.

Carmen Spagnola (she/her) is a somatic attachment re-patterning practitioner, trauma recovery educator, and clinical hypnotherapist who foregrounds a feminist analysis of power, rank, and privilege in her approach to Attachment Theory and attunement. 

As an animist and witch, she includes plants, animals, ancestors, deities and the More Than Human in her menagerie of attachment figures. Her previous books include The Spirited Kitchen: Recipes and Rituals for the Wheel of the Year, and Spells for the Apocalypse: Practical Magic for Turbulent Times (Countryman Press | W.W. Norton)

Features
• A feminist response to “Love Languages”
• An animist approach to Attachment Theory
• Immediately practicable, no-jargon ways to practice nervous system calming techniques and apply Polyvagal Theory

Benefits
• Reduce friction
• Eliminate coercion
• Be more secure in yourself and your bond

Ideal Reader
• People who don’t want to go to therapy
• People who love people who don’t want to go to therapy
• People trying to connect across differences in neurotype

Pre-Order Bonuses

All pre-order bonuses will start shipping on publication day, November 4, 2026

SOLD OUT: First come, first served

SOLD OUT: The first 25 CANADIAN orders will receive a Contact Nutrition care package including:

• a cotton velvet eye pillow filled with flax and lavender, completely handmade by Carmen
• a tin of homemade hand balm scented with cedarwood, lavender, sweet orange, cardamom and juniper berry essential oils
• a full-colour zine (mini magazine) featuring some favourite seasonal recipes that didn't make it into The Spirited Kitchen
• plus any late-addition bonuses

Purchase by May 31 to attend the Contact Nutrition Retreat as well.

SOLD OUT: The first 25 AMERICAN/INTERNATIONAL orders will receive:

• a full-colour zine (mini magazine) featuring some favourite seasonal recipes that didn't make it into The Spirited Kitchen
• plus any late-addition bonuses

Purchase by May 31 to attend the Contact Nutrition Retreat as well.

Early Bird Bonus: Contact Nutrition Online Retreat
(Order by May 31)

• All pre-orders received by midnight Pacific on May 31, 2026, will receive an invitation to a special half-day online Contact Nutrition Retreat, exclusively for Early Bird purchasers.

Stay tuned for more bonuses to be announced through summer and fall. Purchase now and get them all!